Connecting Faith and Life

Sex Life: A Personal Choice?

When 87 yr old Tiwari, a former senior politician, was put to shame for fathering a son out of wedlock and then denying it, his unwitting remark was, “This is my personal matter. The country should not waste its time on this.” A reputed music chan­nel in its website has a guidebook titled ‘It’s Your Sex Life’ for its young mu­sic lovers. The introductory note says, “Fundamentally, it’s your body and it’s up to you what you do with it. Re­member that having sex is a choice (not just the first time, but every time) and your decision is your own.” People who subscribe to this belief candidly tell others not to burden them with traditional or religious moral standards. The belief that Sex is strictly a matter of one’s choice or preference is a dangerous one. It inevitably fosters sexual permissiveness.

Sexual permissiveness in Indian soci­ety may not be as widespread as it is in some of the western cultures, but there are ominous signs. Consider this: A majority of the voices that vented their anger following Nirbhaya’s rape and killing were in fact voices against sexual violence and discrimination of women. The protesters and media deserve our admiration for awakening our collective consciousness in condemning injustice done to women in our nation. Nev­ertheless, what intrigued me was the unwillingness of the majority to relate this incident as an indicator of moral deterioration in our culture. Anyone who raised the issue of sexual morality during public discussions was immedi­ately ‘shot down.’ The unsaid words of many protesters were, “Don’t preach to us about sexual values or code of con­duct. Rape is unacceptable to us. That’s it.” Not long ago, along with rape, much other sexual behaviour was consid­ered unacceptable by the society. Now, it seems the only unacceptable sexual behaviour is rape and everything else is a matter of one’s choice or preference. Indian outlook on Sexuality and Sex­ual behaviour is rapidly changing. Ad­dressing this, Dr. Shekhar Sheshadri, assistant professor at Bangalore-based NIMHANS says, “The assertion of sexuality as a personal expression by to­day’s youth has nothing to do with their otherwise pro-social compassionate behaviour. The whole business is about treating sexuality as just another experi­ence like going to different restaurants.” (

For the followers of Jesus Christ, the discussion above begs the question: Is Sex really a matter of personal choice or preference? Answer to this question will determine our sexual behaviour. First let me raise some more questions. Does it matter to God if I sleep around with others? Does it matter to Him whether I remain a gay or lesbian? Does it matter to Him whom I marry? Does God care about my marriage? Does it matter to Him whether I divorce my spouse and remarry another? Does it matter to Him whether I remain a vir­gin until marriage or not? The biblical answer to these questions is a resound­ing YES! God does care about our sex­ual life! He created man and woman his own image (Gen.1:26-17); Sex is God’s idea – it is a gift to us from the creator! God expects us to handle this precious gift according to His guidelines, not ac­cording to our preferences. In the OT, we clearly see God setting a moral code in matters of Sexuality (Lev.18:1-23). He strictly warned his people not to follow the sexual patterns of the an­cient near eastern cultures surround­ing them (Lev.18:24-29). Though we are no more under the Law, God’s sexual standards in the New Testament era remains the same (I Cor.6:12-20, 10:6-12). Biblical sexual morality has God’s holiness as its foundation and does not change with time or place.

For more on this topic, please refer to the latest issue of SOUL CONNECT magazine.

By Sam K John.

  1. friend says

    Hi Sam, would you mind clarifying the connection between rape and sexual permissiveness? Particularly this statement of yours, “Nev­ertheless, what intrigued me was the unwillingness of the majority to relate this incident as an indicator of moral deterioration in our culture.”
    I hope you are not suggesting that if women are “permissive” then rape is an inevitable outcome…

    1. host4kfn says

      Dear Friend,

      Rape cannot be justified in any circumstances. The increase in rape cases (sexual violence) to me is an indicator of overall moral deterioration. Just raising one’s voice against ‘Rape’ is not a wholesome approach in tackling such issues. That’s my point.


  2. vijaykumar.N says

    Nice topic anna please make more topics for adults…….

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