Connecting Faith and Life

Can we ask and pray for a Boy?

They are not wanted in India.
So they are aborted and killed.
They are prized.
Money, property, family line…
So Indians fast and pray.

What about Christians?
Should we follow the Indian culture of boy preference?
Can we ask God to give us a boy? Though many cases are there in the Bible.
John Piper answers this question of an Indian family.
“There are dangers and there are warrants for praying this way. The dangers are — just to mention a couple — that you might pray for a son or a daughter for the wrong reasons. It would be wrong to pray for one sex because you fail to value the other one in a biblical way. That would be wrong and that is true around the world for a lot of people. It would be wrong to pray for one or the other for merely earthly or selfish reasons like, I need more help in the kitchen. Or, we need more help on the farm. I just think those kinds of merely — and the word merely is important — merely selfish, earthly reasons would be wrong. And so we have to guard. If we are going to pray, better pray really carefully.

And a second danger is the wounds that could come to a child if the child felt, “I wasn’t wanted. They wanted a girl and I am a boy or they wanted a boy and I am a girl.” That is a danger that every parent needs to be very, very alerted to.

But there are not only dangers, there are warrants. I think it is a God-given, good desire for a mother to have a unique kind of desire for a daughter and a father to have a unique kind of desire for a son. And part of that is they both want — and rightly want — to build into this child something what God has made them to be as they have learned how to be a woman or a man. A woman has spent her whole life learning what it means to be a godly woman. She would love to build that into a little girl who grows up to be a godly woman. And a man has spent his whole life trying to figure out what does it mean to be a man for God and he would love to build that into a son. Those are good desires. And to want the one or both is not wrong.

A second warrant would be that there may be some settings in life in missions or in unique hardship of a genetic danger, say, if you knew a girl had a unique genetic proclivity that the boy wouldn’t have or something along those lines that you might say to God: I would ask that you would give me a son or a daughter. So my conclusion is, test your motives by the Scriptures and ask God according to your heart’s desire and make clear to God, to your spouse, and to all the children: We will love God’s gift to us — disabled or able, male or female, living long or living short — we will love God’s gift to us with all our heart and we will believe that God knows best.”

Read the whole article here.

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